Another bike post, I'm afraid,

but one made for an entirely irritating reason.

I was over on Leith Walk on Friday lunchtime, and as I unlocked my bike I happened to glance across the road. A guy, maybe thirty or so, was pushing two bikes along the pavement on the other side of the road. One of them was instantly familiar - it looked exactly like the bike that was stolen from the flat's stairwell in January.

I couldn't be sure it was the same bike, so I jumped on my own bike and rolled slowly down the other side of the stree and watched as he made his way along it. Eventually I was as certain as I could be. I crossed the road, jumped off my bike and said "Excuse me - that looks a lot like a bike of mine that was stolen a few months ago."

Instantly, with no shock or bafflement, he said "Swear to God mate, I got this from my cousin two years ago." How the hell do you reply by making an instant excuse if you know the bike is rightfully yours? I'd laugh openly in my accuser's face if he had the temerity to say something like that.

He stopped walking and told me he was on his way to pick up his daughter. In return I told him that I recognised the rear mudguard, held on as it was with an elastic band and as it had been when it was stolen; that the seat post was rusted in place as it had been when it was stolen and that the bar ends were familiar to me because I'd replaced them just before it had been stolen. The only different parts were the tyres and the saddle - interestingly, the only major perishable parts aside from the brake blocks.

The galling thing was that I had no way to prove to this brazen motherfucker that it was my bike, and without physically restraining him I couldn't stop him. Had I been a little less astounded at his barefacedness I'd have called the police and asked them how to handle it. In the event I muttered "Aye, right," to his claim that he was sorry my bike had been nicked, and let him go.

Unbelievable. The serial number of my current bike's frame is now noted down in a safe place, and should it ever be nicked and the thief has the misfortune to cross my path, I'll be a hell of a lot more pissed off than I was this time...