I was making a cup of tea the other day and I heard what sounded like a grasshopper or cricket chirping somewhere in the kitchen. I circled about, trying to find it, and it sounded like it was behind the cooker.

What the fuck? A grasshopper behind the cooker? It stopped chirruping whenever I got near it, and started up again when I moved away.

This was four days ago and it still seems to be there, obviously surviving off those bits of stir fries that get enthusiastically stirred into the air and down the side of the cooker. I'm calling it Bob the Invulnerable Cricket, or Tenacious B.