I just got a text message from Doug:

Ahoy. Please look up good stuff in Florence on the www and get back to us - as far as we can tell, it's shit. & we've got no rough guide.

Five minutes of we searching later, I turn up the cathedral, or Duomo, the Bargello museum (home to one of the best collections of Renaissance sculpture in the world), the Palazzo Pitti, a massive edifice that was the seat of Florence's ruling families for centuries, and the Church of Santa Croce, so incredible that the French writer Stendahl, on visiting it and experiencing such profound awe and culture shock, gave his name to the same debilitating syndrome still experienced by 12 visitors a year.

The reply:

Cheers man. What about good boozers?

Right then.

I did a bit more searching and fired back a message with the names of what looked to be decent pubs, bars and clubs, and got back a message soon after:

How the fuck are we supposed to find these bars. Stick a finger in our arses and see if our sphincter muscles tell us the direction.

rapidly followed by:

That was from the Captain. D. (sorry)

So, I sent back the addresses of the best four.

It was all uncannily reminiscent of being the surveillance van/CIA headquarters end of a very slow, pub-focused spy "thriller".